Accept Change and Let Go Of Control




As we go through life, we seem to think we have control, believing we are structuring everything around us. We live with the perception that what is happening in our lives is somehow under our control. But is it really? What happens when this supposed control ceases; how do we feel? We all know this feeling, that sense that what is going on doesn't relate to us in the way it should. We are miserable because we have lost that feeling, that safe, easy, manageable feeling of being in control. Now what we don't always understand, or at least do not live this way, is that we have no control over life. With this realization put into practice, we alleviate that sense of loss, of being without control, because we never tried to attain it. The best way to go about this is in small steps.


Let's say we take on our habits, which is the highest form of control we can have. We have habits to feel safe and in control, that is why they are there. From routines to the larger ways we have of doing things, all of this comes down to our need to be in control. Now some habits are worse than others, like the ones we feel we cannot change. If we feel this way about certain things, that is simply our desire to be in control overriding our peace of mind, for we are not happy when what we want or how we do things is forced to change. So take one thing you do that must be done in a certain way in order for you to feel okay. It could be your morning routine. Can you change it? How does that make you feel? Can you switch it up? Sometimes by doing things differently we feel more alive because we are allowing ourselves to change. Sometimes that is all we need, to be present with our habits, so we can see them and make them different, and then let them go.


You will find that if a routine is truly not satisfying, as most of them acutely are, by freeing yourself up from them, you will feel better, even lighter. Routine is based on the need to be in control; it is not mandatory, and it is not satisfying. What this means is we create routines to feel safe and in control, without them we think our day will not work right, or we won't like it. What we don't like is our routines being changed simply because we have decided how they should be. But are they satisfying to us, do they really make us feel better? Granted, most of us probably don't see ourselves this way, for we don't think we are doing anything wrong. And it isn't wrong, routine isn't bad; it is how you feel and react to the destabilizing effect of change on your routines and life. If we let go of control, change feels easy. Routines are not necessary, and if they change, it is okay; we will still feel at peace.


How we do things is a reminder of how we are doing on the inside. If you find it necessary to always do something one way, try changing it, be the one who releases you because you want to, not because change was forced on you. What we really want out of life is not the unbalanced nature of forced routines or the need to be in control, but the feeling of being at ease in life, no matter what happens. And we can be at ease, the more we let go, the easier any kind of change will be. Start small, change little things you think you can let go of. See if you can ease out of a routine, and notice how it makes you feel. Do you feel better letting go of something that was holding you back, that made your day feel like it was too structured?


Being free in our day opens us up; it allows us to be present. The more present we are, the easier we adapt. Think about it, if we are stuck inside of our ways of doing things, when are we present enough to be truly there in our life? When do we enjoy and take part in every moment if it is so structured? The more adept we become at allowing change in our lives on a daily basis, the easier it will be to have change forced upon us, to have change come our way from an outside source. The less we try to maintain control over our own lives, the easier it becomes to welcome change on the outside, thus letting go of control first in ourselves, allows our adaptability to grow. Change occurs with or without our consent; it is up to us in how we begin to deal with it.


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