Changing Yourself




How do we start the change we want to see in ourselves? Usually, we know we are doing something wrong, or that there are parts of ourselves we do not like. What do we do with this, and how do we change? This is a very important question, and one that has many answers. For when we want change, we are already acknowledging our faults, our habits, and ways of being that don't feel right to us. We are no longer avoiding what is wrong, or what we do not like about ourselves. This is good, for acknowledgment is half the battle; it is this that opens up space to letting it go. For when we ignore our problems, those that are internal, we are lost and without a way to help ourselves, for we do not see the way.


Once we understand what we are doing, seeing ourselves a little more clearly, we are on our way to bettering ourselves. Which is the goal, to see ourselves clearly, and therefore become who we are meant to be, for the release of old habits, and issues whether emotional or mental is what holds us down and makes us unhappy. So begin with seeing what it is you do, what you do not like, what you wish you could change. And stop wishing for change, for it is easy to release once you have found the problem. First, do not think you can blame someone or something else for your problems or faults. This cancels out awareness, this is like excusing yourself from the problem. We are who we are, not because of others or our situations. We must own our behavior; it is no one else's fault. Once you claim your issue, really acknowledge its presence as something that is real and has been holding you down, you in a sense erase its power because you are not avoiding it anymore. This is important, for sometimes we know what we are doing, but try to avoid it, try to pay as little attention to it as possible, which is understandable. After all we do not like it, this part of ourself, so why bring our attention to it? Don't be embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid of this step, for you gain power over your faults and issues by claiming them; they become less important when we no longer hide from them.


Once you claim your issue, that it is yours and yours alone, this is where the real work begins. For we are present with ourselves now, we are seeing what we are, and what we are doing in our lives and the world around us. This is where we take ourselves seriously. We look at our habits simply as something we do, at our faults as a way we have been, at our issues as momentary. If we can see what we do not like about ourselves as not permanent, then we can accept that they are there, and this is how we let them go. Change is about honesty and positive thinking; it is about release and letting go, for we cannot change if we are holding onto something. It hinders us and slows us down. If you truly want to let go of something, to release it, then you must acknowledge it fully, accept it, and then you are free to let it go. Stop hiding from it, making excuses for it, or keeping it at a distance. Be real, and then you can become real, for all our issues, faults, or problems are not really us.


Any way that we are that we do not like is not who we truly are. Why do you think you feel this way about parts of yourself? It is because underneath you know this is not you. Why else do you feel the need to change? Because deep down you know that what is happening is not the person you are meant to be. Remember, whenever you feel disgusted with yourself, your behavior, do not put yourself down, or belittle what is happening. Let whatever triggers your behavior be a sign that you need to acknowledge yourself right then. Do not let yourself get carried away with thinking or believing that you are stuck in this moment or with that issue, for that is not real. At any moment we can change when we believe we can let go, that is what makes it possible.


No matter the length of time, no matter the severity, all issues are temporary, they are not longstanding. Even if it feels hard to you, change can be easy. Acknowledge, assert the issue as your own, claim it and then accept it. For owning up to our problems may not always be easy, but it is the clearest path to letting them go. Honesty leads to freedom. When we hide, we are forever doomed to be hidden from ourselves. Know that as you let go of your issues you will feel lighter, more at ease, and truer to who you are meant to be. Change happens when we let go. It happens because we believe it can, and most importantly because we allow it by claiming our issues as something we no longer need.


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