Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One




When we lose someone we love, we are grief-stricken, lost, confused, shocked, and often can’t accept what has occurred. Our emotions are so strong that they cloud us over so that we cannot come to terms with the reality of what happened and accept our loss. Acceptance is the purest way to deal with a loss, but because of all of these emotions, we cannot. We choose not to in a way, for acceptance means letting go when there is still so much pain from our the loss. Sometimes we want to feel the pain, for it keeps our loved one close and reminds us of them after they are gone.


We may fear that if we stop feeling the pain, we will lose them and our memory of them. But we cannot keep ourselves locked into the moment, even if it feels like we have to stay there to remember them. We are not losing them if we choose to let go. We love them, even if we let go of the pain. We will continue to exist and live our life, whether we choose to let go or not. We also choose to either heal from our loss or to continue to live with the pain. Letting go doesn’t mean you forget; it only means you are letting go of the pain from your loss. Letting go is allowing yourself to heal so that you can keep on remembering them from a place of peace.


Dealing with a loss can happen in stages that may take weeks to even years, but if it takes too long, you are losing a part of your life and living in pain. Our hearts want to heal and let go so that we can keep on living from a place of peace. Remember, by letting go you are not forgetting, but are healing from the pain, the loss, and your emotional response. Allow yourself to come out of the emotional heaviness so that you can remember more clearly the person you love. Accept that they are gone so that you can begin to live the life that they would have shared with you.


Live your life so that their passing does not stop your life, but contributes to yours with the warmth of their memories. We can exist within any state we choose. We can choose heaviness, sadness, regret, anger, and confusion by not accepting and letting go. Or we can choose life by letting go, so we can heal. Let yourself move forward by letting go of your pain. Let go of what you have been holding onto so that you can heal and your heart can open. Then when you remember the person you loved, you will feel warmth, love, and happiness instead of sadness.


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