Fear and Control




Fear comes from the idea that we need to be in charge and in control of our life. We fear what we cannot control. If we knew what life would be like and that it would always be what we wanted, would we ever fear it? Would we ever worry or stress about what might be? Fear is the idea that we will lose control of our lives. We fear that the control will either be in someone else’s hands or at the whim of what may be. Fear is about not knowing the outcome and imagining what might happen again. Because if you experienced something in your past you didn’t like, you felt you had no control over it. Trying to keep your life in your control so that something can never happen again is an act based on fear.


Control is impossible, whether it is control over our life now or our future. Control doesn’t exist. To fear losing control is to then fear what doesn’t exist. Control is a way of trying to keep your fears from happening. But what is there to be afraid of, other then what has already happened? Do you really believe that if you do not manage a situation it will hurt you? Do you really believe that if you are not in complete control, it will all fall apart and impact you in a negative way? To fear the loss of control is to not accept what is. When you can accept what was, is now, or will be, you are letting go of fear.


Acceptance is the opposite of fear. There is no need to control or to experience stress, fear, or worry if one is accepting of all moments. Letting go of fear is being open to whatever may be and realizing that you will be okay, no matter what happens. If you were to look at the reality of all moments, how many were so bad that you need to try to control life to stop them from ever happening again? If you were to imagine yourself accepting those particular times, would they have felt easier? Fear makes everything harder.


By accepting, you are letting go fear and the need to control the moment. When you feel afraid or that you are trying too hard to control something, ask yourself if you are accepting the situation. If you are not accepting it, then try. If you are relating the moment to your past, reach back and accept that old moment as well. If you are afraid for the future, try to accept, with openness, whatever may be. Life will be far more enjoyable when we live with acceptance and have let go of fear.


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