How To Stop Fixating On Your Past




Moving forward in our lives and letting go can seem like a hard thing to do. There always seems to be one thing we can't let go of, something we focus on and are attached to. Whether it occurred yesterday or years ago, the effect can still be felt if we are still attached to the event and its meaning. We are holding onto what it meant to us during that time, not what was done, who did it, or what happened afterward, but really how we felt about it. So if you think you can't let go of something in your past, know that it is possible once you realize you are attached to how it felt, not the event itself. Because it is not about who was involved, but how you felt at that time that still hurts. When we hold onto something , it is because we have not conscientiously accepted or released it. Sometimes if the pain that we felt is too strong, we do not want to accept it; we want to keep it with us because of how deeply we felt it. But when we do this, we are choosing to relive it over and over again.


Remembering what happened will not help us. What we can do is realize why we are holding onto it. If something happened to you that traumatized you, you need to accept this. Something happened that hurt you and caused you pain, but that is over and in the past. It is no one's fault anymore, there is nowhere that can we place blame because it is in the past and the moment does not exist anymore, so we have to let it go. We expect that we should be able to do something about it, that we should be able to make others pay. We believe there should be consequences for the pain we experienced, but life doesn't work this way. The most we can do to benefit ourselves is to let it go, to let the memory of how we felt go.


We can hold onto things for many reasons, so to look at how it makes us feel when we are reliving that event is helpful. What emotions are stirred up during your thoughts about it? This is what you have to let go of, for those emotions are old. They are your emotions from a time in your past; they are not yours anymore. You are just reliving your past by re-experiencing those old emotions and , more importantly, your attachment to your past issues is keeping you from living as yourself now. Anything that occurs in our past no longer exists, except in our minds and in our emotions when we focus on them. Replaying it over and over again does nothing for us, expect pull us back, causing us to relive the pain or emotional distress we felt at that time. So you can see how important it is to let this episode in your life go. If not to relieve yourself of this experience, then to stop existing in the past. We either choose to let it go or not. We are not stuck with our past; however, we often choose to keep it alive in our memories.


The next time you find yourself fixating on something you wish you could let go, pay attention to how it is making you feel. Realize that these emotions are the ones you felt during that period, they are not you today. If this event reoccurred now, you would respond and feel differently. Now that you know these emotions are old, just like your memories, it is easier to understand that they too belong in your past. Nothing that has gone exists any longer, and when one moment disappears, we need to let our emotional responses to it go too. We must grow accustomed to letting ourselves release not only what happens to us, but the emotions we felt during that time as well. We need to accept what it was, how it felt, and be okay with it. For nothing else will release our burden from this memory except us.


We have to choose to let the emotional attachment to our past go because that is all we are feeling. We are feeling old emotions over and over again. Remember if the same thing happened to you today, it would feel differently because you are a different person, you have changed and grown over time. Old emotions tie us down to our past. Release the emotional bond to your past by accepting what happened. Accept what occurred, and let it go; let the event and your emotions that remind you of it go. The more we release our emotions, the less we will find ourselves thinking about our past. The less we think about our past, the more present we can be. We do not need to fixate on anything, for we can not be happy if we are. We do not belong in our past. Release the emotions by accepting what happened; realize that what you are feeling is how you felt then. These emotions do not belong to you anymore, and therefore are easier to let go of. Your past is over; it is gone To fixate on it, is to choose not to move on. It is choosing to live in your past, instead of where you belong. Let go of this fixation by realizing you can let it go; you can be free.


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