Learning To Forgive




Forgiveness is the key factor in letting go of all that holds us back. If we can understand this and have the ability to truly forgive, then nothing stands in our way. Take for instance anything from your past, whether it was huge or small, whatever affected you that you still hold onto, you have not forgiven it. You have not forgiven those involved, your part in it, nor the fact that it happened to you. Anything we can truly forgive, we can let go of. Because anything we hold onto in life sets us back. It holds us down and serves as a crutch to the life we could be living. When we let go, we set ourselves free. We can choose to do this or we can continue to hold on. Sometimes we want this, as evidence for who we are and who we have become, as a resonance to our emotions, our thoughts, for we believe our past makes us who we are. But this is false, our past ceases to be every day that goes by. We only live in now, especially when we can forgive and let go.


Forgiveness holds the power to transition us out of what we were, and lets us step into today.  It allows us to be free, to be the person we are meant to be. It may seem like a small step, but if you look at yourself closely, how much of what you are is tied to your past? How often do you see yourself from a vantage point of how others may have seen you for what you were? Any past-tense realizations need to be let go of. Any way we conform to what we were is false. What I mean is if we are still seeing ourselves as what we were, then we are locked in our past. We do this constantly by realigning our pasts with how we feel today. You do this by remembering or blaming moments, regretting what was, feeling emotion over your past. Any moment that holds a weight in you needs to be let go of. And the easiest and fastest way to do this is to truly forgive. Not for anyone else, but for you, for that is why we are doing it.


We need to let go of what once was in order to live fully today. Allow yourself to picture what was, what really hurt you or changed you, and forgive that moment, forgive the people involved, and forgive yourself. Forgive everything. Do not hold onto the emotions attached to that memory, for you are forgiving those too. You are forgiving everything you have had to feel since then. All the ways it has made you feel and changed you, forgive that. You really and truly have to forgive everything in order for this to work. Don't overlook anything or make certain excuses. Let it go out of your heart. Let it cease to be. It is like detaching yourself from that memory. Ceasing to be aligned with what was sets you free. Our memories exist endlessly, but it is the ones we are still attached that we have to forgive, for we only hold onto the ones that hurt us, that is why we must forgive. And once forgiveness enters the picture, it becomes so much easier to let go. We need no reasons to do this, other than the fact that we can.


We are the bearers of our own memories; we hold onto the ones we choose to. How many memories do you often recall that were ones that hurt or harmed you? How often do you look at these and feel them, even today? Those are the memories that we need to forgive; there are no steps, no ways around it. It is simply telling yourself and the world that you finally let go. It happened, and now forgive that it did. Once we begin stacking up "unforgivable" memories, it becomes harder and harder to release them, for we have started a pattern, and tend to hold onto those that resemble each other. We balance them as proof or evidence for why we are the way we are. We look at them to remind ourselves of all we have been through and what has happened to us. But how does this refection make us feel, are we not sad, angry, frustrated and alone in these memories? We are almost infinitely better off if we search these moments out and forgive them. Especially forgive the way it made you feel, not that it was wrong, but that what you experienced is okay, and that now you no longer need to relive it.


When we hold onto things that hurt us, we bury ourselves a little bit. And the more we hang onto them, the deeper we get within the sorrow and the hurt. We start to look for it in our day-to-day lives too, for sympathy, for ways to cope with how we feel. You see, if we align our present lives with our memories, by looking for similarities, then we are claiming that our emotional state is okay. People do this all the time. Say you were intimidated at a young age, treated badly in school, and this of course hurt you and you didn't like it. You remember this, you remember how this made you feel, you recall that moment a lot. Now without meaning to, you start seeing this in your present adult life because you are still wounded and hurt over your past. You recall and thus experience these old feelings, and so in order to make sense of these emotions, you look for evidence of their presence in the now. We trap ourselves in a loop. We really want to make sense of it. We of course want to feel better. But we really don't know how. If we have not let go of our past, it is still existing with us today, and that is where the problem is. It is not about how others are making you feel the same way; it is the fact that already are existing with that feeling. It is already there. Although it occurred a long time ago, it resides in you because you haven't forgiven it. Forgive your past, all the moments that changed or hurt you, all the times you recall, regret, or feel deeply for, forgive these. When you do, something magical happens, you begin to let go of them in a real way. Maybe not all at once, but the process is started, for you are allowing yourself to set them free.


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