Letting Go Of Bad Behaviors




We all do things in our lives that don't make sense to us, but we do them anyway. There are certain behaviors we have, ways we respond that might seem normal to us, but in reality are our way of coping with something. What this means is how we are and what we do is not always the real us. We may be presenting ourselves in a certain way that isn't how we truly are. This might not always seem obvious, but if you've ever wondered why something bothers you, but it doesn't bother others, or why you need something to be a certain way, even though there is no real reason, this is a clue.


It could also be how we respond to certain events, especially emotionally. Basically, anything you do that feels like too much, not quite right, a hindrance, or something that bothers you or even others is a sign. For sometimes others can pick up on our eccentricities, our habits, and see them more clearly than we can. What is important to know is that we are not by any means stuck with any of our behaviors, for they are a coping mechanism for another area in our life. They are a response to a residual emotion, a time in our life, or a memory.


We, in hopes of making ourselves feel better, develop ways of coping with life in a multitude of ways. Whether we need to be in control of certain things, have others treat us a certain way, require anything in particular at all to feel good or okay, or basically any method we use that requires a sense of control over others, moments, or things is a sure sign that we have some internal issues to deal with. What needs to be noted is not where it is coming from, but why its there. What are we trying to deal with by doing what we do? Does eating a certain way really develop into what we need? Does being in charge of our surroundings really accomplish what is necessary; what are we feeling when we do this? Does seeing others and treating them a certain way a necessity for our happiness? Take into account what have you noticed about yourself. What issues are you aware of within yourself? Do you have a temper, are you hot-headed, do you respond quickly to situations or overreact to them? This is a sign of something else, not your Irish-temperament. Do you always need to maintain a sense of calm; what are you trying to maintain? What unsettles you and why do you think it does? All the things we do in our life, whether it is emotionally, mentally, or physically, if it has to be a certain way, these are keys to our issues, to our problems that need to be faced.


We respond to internal issues by manifesting our desires to feel better in our physical world. We are not stuck with any one way of being, especially if it is difficult or hard for us. This is not us. Anytime we have to maintain ourselves by being or doing things a certain way, we are in fact responding to our true desire to heal ourselves and to feel better. So realize what you are responding to when you react. What emotions or thoughts come to you when there is this response? What is really underneath this reaction; what desire are you trying to fulfill? This is where the answer is. Say you are trying to maintain a sense of calm by controlling your environment excessively, what is the reason behind this response? Is there panic, fear, are you scared; what is the emotion or thought that this physical reaction was derived from?


We can learn so much about ourselves simply by paying attention to what we do and when we do it. If we stop thinking of ourselves as a machine that responds a certain way because that is simply who we are, for this isn't the case, we can understand. We respond the way we do to life because of how we feel and think, because of what is going on inside of us. If we are angry, is it really because of what is going on? Or is it a response from somewhere inside of us, if so, what is the trigger, what were we feeling or thinking before we got angry, what is at the bottom of this issue? It may surprise us to realize where things really originate, for it is not always very obvious. We don't always make sense in the way we respond. Simply because we are feeling angry, does not mean we are angry about something, or angry inside, it can be just a response we have developed to protect ourselves, a way of feeling better or okay, at least that was the original purpose.


Sometimes the way we choose to heal ourselves does not always make sense. Sometimes our responses often leave us feeling worse because of what we do, and also because we are not really attaining that sense of peace we are looking for. So the next time you respond, overreact, or do something you know is not really you, or not how you wish you were, pay attention to what you were doing, thinking or feeling before this response came out. Pay attention and listen to what was going on. This is what you need to look at, not the response, but the initiator. So many people think that if they have a problem, they have to figure out how to stop it, how to deal with it by only looking at the issue they have, their behaviors, their responses to life. But this is like looking at a book and trying to read it without ever opening it. We must look at the depths of who we are to understand why we do what we do. When we open the book and pay attention, we can solve our issues, and our responses and behaviors fade away because they are no longer needed or necessary. We are no longer looking for ways to heal, and so our impulse to find inner peace though outward means ceases. Solve your issues by going inward and paying attention. Do not assume that you cannot change or become better, that you cannot be without issues, for you can. We can all change. In fact, we are doing it constantly. We can change even faster when we let go of old issues. We can grow and be the real us, without the unwanted tendencies and behaviors, by really understanding ourselves.


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