Letting Go Of Painful Memories




There may be certain memories we wish we could forget, that we wish we didn't have. And yet we choose to remember them, even the painful ones, so we can feel and see them again. Why do we do this; why do we choose to relive old memories that have hurt us? Sometimes we do it in an abstract manner without realizing it; they are just brought up and we re-experience them. Sometimes we actually choose to remember and fixate on them so that we can relive it in some way. We rarely do this with good memories. We do not sit around day-dreaming about something wonderful that happened; instead, we focus on our anxieties, our painful memories, and those that hurt us. Perhaps we are trying to make sense of our past and why something happened. We think we can come to terms with it by reliving it.


We feel confused and hurt by certain moments in our past, and so we cannot let go of it. Think about it, how often do you fixate on something from your past that meant a lot to you, and it was good, or even wonderful? These are the moments we understand, and so we let them go. They fit in with how we see life and so the puzzle is complete. But some moments in our past do not fit or coexist with how we see life; therefore, we hold onto them. Absently or on purpose, we are constantly calling them forward to be reevaluated. The purpose is clear, at least it is in our minds. Our emotions, on the other hand, are going through a lot of pain and heartache during this process. For recalling an old event, one that harmed us in some way, is painful. It is like reliving the same thing over and over, even though we are ready to move on. It is this juxtaposition between our minds and our hearts that needs to be looked at. For if we choose to follow our minds, we will be re-evaluating our past, the moments that hurt us or confused us, forever trying to make sense of what was.


Perhaps we are trying to prepare ourselves for the future, or we are trying to stave off any further similar incidents. Perhaps we are trying to figure it out so we can protect ourselves. This is what we think, but we really are just fixated on what went wrong and how we were hurt. We want life to work with us and not against us, and so we have to figure out why it didn't. Our emotions, on the other hand, can be very present; we can exist in the now if we choose to. With our mind present, our emotions follow the lead. It is the direction that the mind wanders that leads the heart. So it comes down to coming to terms with not having a solution or closure of what was. When we are stuck on the need to have it all make sense, we become lost in our past. When we let go of that desire, we allow our past to fall away. It is not about figuring our past out, as it is about letting ourselves be okay without doing so. Our heart will thank us; our emotions will become grounded again.


It is very easy for our heart to let go and be okay. It is the mind that feels confused. When we choose to reevaluate our past, to ponder what was, we drag ourselves through the mud over and over. When we do not let go, we are forever longing to understand. This is the desire that needs to be released, not because we can't figure it out, but because we can let it go before we do. This can be empowering, to say to yourself, I am okay without knowing why, I do not need to understand all of it in order to move on. We can do this. It is as easy as making a choice to no longer dwell on what you do not understand or can't figure out, and instead choose to let your mind follow your heart. Let yourself be okay with what was by letting go of the need to understand why you were hurt or why it happened the way it did. Life is about living right now. It is not about being forever locked in what was. Let go of your painful, hurtful memories by letting the need to understand them go. Let it be okay that it was and that it is now no more, for that is the truth. We are now; the past is forever only a part of our memories and nothing more. Our mind is in charge of our memories, and our hearts will follow our train of thought. Release the need to know and make sense of it all, and in turn you will release what hurts.


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